My wife and the women at my church were having a discussion on the issue of "Valentine's Day." Earlier in our marriage, we decided not to celebrate "Valentine's Day." Below is an e-mail to my wife that reiterated the "why's" of our position concerning the "Feast of Saint Valentinus." (This is not some sort of unilateral command to "stop celebrating Valentine's Day." However, some of you might have never heard of Christians not celebrating Valentine's Day. If you're a Christian, before you write me off as some "Bible-maniac," please at least understand that there is another perspective out there. Never culturally contextualize when spiritual integrity is at odds with the culture in question.)
Dear Wife,
Good question. Here's my short, but to the point, response.
The reasons we do not celebrate Valentine's Day are:
- It was a "Chrisitanized" version of a February pagan holiday celebrating eroticism (sexual lust) and fertility. That much, is pretty much a fact. (Though we do not know which "St. Valentine" we are commemorating, even your Gospel Coalition article concedes that: "It was 469 when 'Valentine' was given a feast day, in the hopes of replacing February’s pagan feasts of love and fertility with a theme of Christian love and martyrdom." (emphasis mine).)
- The argument that, "Well, Christmas replaced what was once a pagan holiday" does not hold weight because irrespective of when Christ came, we know for sure that he came.
So in celebrating Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus--not the
date nor the time of year. It may very well have replaced a pagan holiday, but it's called Christmas for a reason. Valentine's Day does not celebrate the person
of Christ or any other historic point of redemptive history.
- As born-again, reformed evangelicals, we do not celebrate the "feast days" of Roman Catholic/Early Church saints. If you celebrate
the "feast day" of St. Valentinus, why are you not celebrating the "feast
days" of all the other Roman Catholic/Early Church "saints"? The Roman
Catholics at least are consistent. They celebrate them all. Why are
you just picking the feast day of Saint Valentinus?
- The Roman Catholic (depending on your dating of the beginning of Roman Catholicism) Church's desire that St. Valentine's Day replaces a day of "pagan feasts of love and fertility" has not worked (as Justin Taylor keenly noted in the Gospel Coalition article that you sent me. Taylor wrote, "Judging by today’s customs I’d say the scheme wasn’t altogether successful"). I would agree with Taylor. Unfortunately, the OPPOSITE has occurred and what might have eventually passed into oblivion (as all other ancient pagan holidays), is now a recurring celebration of eroticism, pre-marital sex, and fertility in the name of "Saint Valentine." Sex is commercially lucrative as businesses globally gear-up for the celebration of erotic love.
- I do not understand the notion of this "holiday" serving as a reminder and impetus for Christian love. Christians do not need a "Day of Saint Valentinus" to demonstrate
the command to "love one another." 2 Peter 1:7 says that we ought
strive continually for "...godliness with brotherly affection,
and brotherly affection with love." We should not need "Valentine's
Day" to fulfill this exhortation. In fact, if we used the holiday as an excuse for
"Christian love," it would only make things murky and awkward. Just
imagine the confusion in our current culture, if I (as a Christian), went
to a fellow brother in Christ and said, "Hey man, I love you...would
you be my Valentine's?" The lengthy explanation that would necessarily
follow that comment might not un-do the harm and confusion caused by
the comment.
- Unhealthy secular peer pressure for our youth. Say what you want about "redeeming" the holiday for our Christian youths, the fact of the matter is that when you're a Christian kid in a secular high school and all your peers are getting Valentines and "getting laid tonight," Christianity and the "redemptive" nature of Valentine's Day takes a back seat. (And I mean way back.)
- And I didn't even get started on how much pressure unmarried Christians feel on "Valentine's Day." But you can imagine...
At the end of the day, I deeply love you. But not in the Saint Valentinus way. I love you in the Christ way:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." -Ephesians 5:25
And I am sure Christ didn't need a "Valentine's Day" to show that love.
With love,
Stephen
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